EFT/The Law of Attraction/Affirmations

In the field of life coaching, there are as many different approaches as there are coaches. Despite the differences, almost all coaches use some form of affirmations, for themselves and for their clients. Affirmations, which are positive statements used to re-train the conscious or subconscious mind, have been a mainstay of personal growth work for decades. And they can often be effective, allowing us to re-language our thoughts, and so, our world.

There can be problems with affirmations, however. One is the ‘tail-ender’ problem – it’s the sarcastic little voice inside your head that adds a comment after you’ve said your affirmation. For example, if you say
‘I am always attracting abundant wealth’
the little voice may add
‘Yeah, right, in your dreams!’

This tail-ender, in effect, becomes your affirmation, rather than that wonderful positive statement that you were trying to instill.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is great for dealing with tail-enders. You simply turn the tail-ender into an EFT setup statement. (For more information on the structure of EFT, see the earlier letter EFT/Emotional Freedom Technique, or my What is EFT? page.) So in this example, your setup statement might be: ‘Even though I don’t think I can attract abundant wealth, I deeply and completely accept myself’. Or ‘Even though I think that abundant wealth is just a unrealistic dream, I deeply and completely accept myself.’

In the EFT basic formula, you would repeat this three times, while rubbing the sore spot or tapping the KC (karate chop) point. Then proceed through the tapping routine, with reminder phrases of ‘can’t attract wealth’ or ‘unrealistic wealth dream’. At the end of each tapping routine (after tapping on all the points while saying the reminder phrase), try saying the affirmation again. See if you still ‘hear’ the tail-ender. Has it changed? Is it not as loud now? Or do you feel a deep, complete sense of peace and truth as you say the affirmation?

If your affirmation doesn’t feel like complete truth yet, do another round of tapping.

You may need to change your setup phrase, in response to your ‘tail-ender’ changing. Be aware of thoughts that pop into your head. Continuing the example above, some new thoughts might be

‘I can make enough to get by, but I’ll never be rich’
‘I don’t want to be greedy’
‘I’ll have to work too hard to make that much money’
‘Nothing good ever happens to me’

Here are possible setup statements for each of these new thoughts. These statements use the Choices method (for more information, see the previous letter EFT with the Choices method).

‘I can make enough to get by, but I’ll never be rich’

Becomes

‘Even though I don’t think I can ever be rich, I choose to allow money to flow into my life now’

‘I don’t want to be greedy’

Becomes

‘Even though I’m afraid that it’s greedy to want money, I choose to know that I will manage my money generously and wisely’

‘I’ll have to work too hard to make that much money’

Becomes

‘Even though I believe I’ll have to work too hard if I want to be rich, I choose to consider that I can be wealthy while having fun working moderately!’

‘Nothing good ever happens to me’

Becomes

‘Even though nothing good ever happens to me, I choose to allow good into my life now’

This last kind of tail-ender indicates a global belief that may need more specific follow-up. When a global belief like this (an ‘always’ or a ‘never’) appears, sometimes a few rounds of tapping will reverse this feeling, and have you noticing how many good things do actually come into your life. This process can be subtle, so look carefully for it! EFT works best on specifics, though, so you may want to take specific events in your life in work on them individually. If you need help, call me!

Now that you’ve had some examples, pull out those old affirmations and dust them off, or write some new ones, and see how quickly you can attract what you desire in your life!

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