3 Powerful Ways to Retrain 

Outdated (or just plain WRONG) Beliefs about Yourself

There was a law on the books in Virginia up until about 10 years ago that if you wanted to drive at night and make a right turn, somebody had to walk 50 feet ahead of you swinging a red lantern.

That was a great idea (and law) 100 years ago, but it hasn’t been relevant in a long time. (Hello, blinkers!) But the law sat on the books.

You, too, have personal ‘laws’ in your subconscious that were placed there decades ago but are still in place today. And they’re about as relevant as the Virginia statute.

But here’s the real problem – They’re sabotaging your success.

These rules might be:

– “I have to play it safe.”
– “I shouldn’t take unnecessary risks.”
– “I have to avoid my fear of rejection.”
– “I can’t fail, no matter what.”

The list goes on and on because these rules are often so personal and specific to each person. But they all have something in common – they’re just not useful anymore.

Here’s the interesting – and very important – part… These parts of you were set up for very good reasons and usually very early in life. For example, at age 7 it’s smart to go along with the crowd and fit in so you can have friends. Or it’s important to not take unnecessary risks so you won’t get called our or fussed at by a teacher or parent. So these rules are deeply ingrained in who you are and can’t just be removed that easily.

Maybe you’ve heard that you need to “just get over it” or “you have to learn to ignore that piece of yourself.”

Ignoring these parts is like going hiking, and being told to ‘ignore the 50-pound pack you’re carrying around’… You may be able to keep moving, but it’s definitely going to drain your energy.

(To learn more about the danger of putting things off for a “better time,” read my blog, “The 4 Most Dangerous Words to Your Business.”)

When you’re an entrepreneur trying to grow and expand your business, you have to approach these outdated rules differently.

Since ignoring doesn’t work, here’s how you want to look at this: Try treating these outdated, limiting parts of yourself as employees that can’t be fired. Think about them as team members with outdated equipment or software. You have to find a way to work with them.

You can’t drop them altogether, but you *can* retrain them. (Feel free to cheer!) 🙂

Here are 3 ways to retrain and update your outdated internal rules…

#1: Emotional Work

I *hate* the term “head trash,” meaning the emotional baggage we all carry with us. I hate it because it demeans the part of you that’s been set up to protect you and keep you safe, probably for a very long time. It’s like saying, “That employee is a good-for-nothing!” instead of “Wow, this employee has out of date information or training.”

You wouldn’t expect an employee to deliver great service if they’re working with an old rotary phone and are tethered to a landline. You probably wouldn’t expect an accountant to do her best work if she’s working with an abacus or a penciled-in ledger. No, we expect our employees to do their best work when they have current resources.

So to get your internal team – those old ideas and beliefs roaming freely in your head – to do their best work, you have to update the materials they’re working with.

Retraining your old beliefs will almost certainly take emotional work. I’m not gonna lie – it could get ugly… You might have to face some things about yourself that you’ve believed to be true for a LONG time. Or work with ideas and emotions that don’t seem to want to budge. You might have to go deep.

Here’s where I would recommend Tapping or something similar. To build new beliefs, you’re first going to have to reimagine life without those things you’ve been holding onto. You’re going to have to retrain the “employees” in your head that’ve been holding you back.

#2: New Reframe

You can also use a really good new idea – a reframe – to claim instead of the old belief. A reframe is a new perspective that allows you to take action and move forward with the new value instead of your old belief.

Let’s get back to your problematic internal employees… Fear of Rejection, for example.

You might think marketing is pushy and just generally terrible because to you it means opening yourself up to rejection. But you can reframe it. Your new belief could be, “Marketing is simply sharing what I do and letting the world know that transformation is possible!” It’s an inspiring (and true) belief that takes the sting out of people saying, “No, thanks.” They’re not saying no to you, they’re just saying “Not yet” or “I don’t think I need what you’re offering right now.” Suddenly, Fear of Rejection is retrained to look for new opportunities and ways of doing business.

If you can start incorporating your reframe into what you do and who you are, it can go a long way in turning around your internal employees’ behavior.

#3:  Identity

It may sound like hard work, but you can set yourself up as somebody with a new identity. (You, version 2.0.) 🙂

This is different than a reframe because this one is about *you*, not your belief.

You wouldn’t set up your identity as, “I’m a sleazy marketer so I’m ok trying to hawk my services in any way possible.” (Ugh. Please never, ever adopt that line of thinking.) But you could say, “I am a bold deliverer of truth!”

Hint: To try this out, say it out loud in a very dramatic voice. Humor and exaggeration will lighten the energy and get into your subconscious better. Use it to your advantage!


Ok, so you’re ready to move forward without outdated ideas that have been holding you back. Awesome! Does the idea of moving forward with high-paying, committed clients sound great, too?

Join me for my “Profit From Your Gifts” webinar and hear real-life stories of entrepreneurs who went from charging by the hour (and working nonstop) to offering packages… $3,000 – $10,000 packages!

Discover the secrets to charging $3,000 – $10,000 per client (while working less and having a bigger impact)!